Thomas’s Snowplow Thomas refused to have his Snowplow put on this morning. A group of trainspotters and passengers nearby watched as he explained that he didn’t believe in snow. “Snow is an elaborate hoax created by Sir Topham Hatt to get us to wear Snowploughs.” He shouted as loud as he could to everyone waiting … Continue reading Thomas Convinced Snow is “An Elaborate Hoax”
Mattel recently held a Conference Call for investors in which they discussed future plans for their properties and products. TNN was invited to attend the virtual meeting to see what Mattel planned on ruining this upcoming year. However, things took a turn for the worse when an investor raised a question about the changes that … Continue reading “Lalalalalalalala.” Says Mattel Executive with Fingers in Ears
A recent study from Tidmouth University shows Millennials on the Island of Sodor don’t participate in the traditions of Thanksgiving. Traditional Thanksgiving present exchange around the Thanksgiving Tree “Why would I celebrate an American holiday?” Starbucks patron, Jessica, inquired. “We live on an island off the coast of Britain.” Clearly Millennials just don’t know enough … Continue reading Studies Show Sudrian Millennials Don’t Celebrate Thanksgiving
The cover of the all new Thomas and Friends Lore Book For years, Thomas fans have been able to enjoy reading up on all the well thought out and interesting lore of The Railway Series in the two Railway Series Lore Books written by members of the Awdry family. However, fans have never gotten a … Continue reading New Lore Book Takes Us Deeper Into the Lives of Sudrians than Ever Before
A Policeman has issued a request to Sir Topham Hatt and the Ffarquhar Quarry Manager suggesting they give Toby and Mavis different colors. Officer Brewster explained that their current liveries are distracting to his work. “I usually sit at this crossing near the quarry where I watch traffic, so I see Toby and Mavis all … Continue reading Policeman Suggests Toby and Mavis get Repainted
A Tool used by capitalists to brainwash your kids There seems to be a stage in every toddler’s life where they become obsessed with vehicles. Recently, my three-year-old, Gungus, has entered this phase and just loves to play with his Choo Choo trains. There are two major players in the field of Train Kids shows; … Continue reading The Repressive, Authoritarian Soul of Chuggington
Ben Shapiro is a political commentator who I could beat in a fight! Here are the top ten reasons why I could do this! 10. He's a little noodley kid!!! Ben Shapiro looks freaking weak, and even though he's older than me, I could probably beat him up. 9. I am thicker than him!!! Similar … Continue reading Top 10 Reasons I could Beat Ben Shapiro in a Fight
Kindergartener, Greg McEvans was reported telling his classmates, "I'm going to be Thomas the Tank Engine for Halloween!" In a presentation. However, when he showed up at the school's Fall Festival in costume, he was actually wearing a driver's uniform with a Large Cardboard Thomas on top of it. "I can't believe Greg is so … Continue reading Dumbass who said he was going as Thomas for Halloween actually dressed as Thomas’s Driver
In a bizarre series of events, Ffarquhar Fan Studios ended his Thomas series without killing off a single character. Fans of Sudrian Sudrians were both shocked and pleasantly surprised. "I was expecting Thomas to die at some point in the series. After all, he does in almost every other fan series." Said DuckFan8, a regular … Continue reading Thomas Fan Series Surprisingly Doesn’t End with Multiple Characters Dead
Recently, the YouTube Star known as PewDiePie (a.k.a. Felix Kjellberg) made another installment of his meme review series. In this episode, he came across a meme with a terrifying image of a Thomas themed Gun at around the 6:38 mark. https://youtu.be/cY9kbO4GY_s We Brocomotives know that such an image is disrespectful to Thomas, Awdry, and Britt … Continue reading Should PewDiePie Be Exiled from Brighton? (Yes)
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