After learning that hundreds of teens and adults actually believe his father wrote that Henry was scrapped and replaced with a new Henry, Christopher Awdry has donated his entire fortune to various Adult Literacy Charities. “I didn’t realize so many people misinterpreted my dad’s book.” Said Awdry. “If I’d known, I would’ve wrote it out … Continue reading Christopher Awdry Donates Entire Fortune to Adult Literacy Charities After Learning About Two Henrys Theory →

In a last ditch effort to erase Edward and Henry from existence, Mattel sent an Airstrike to Sodor. Luckily, no one was hurt; for the drone missed its targets after it crashed into the side of Culdee Fell, which Mattel forgot existed. “We’re lucky they haven’t bothered to actually study our Island or it’s history … Continue reading Mattel sends Drone to Sodor in an Attempt to Destroy Edward and Henry →

Thomas’s Snowplow Thomas refused to have his Snowplow put on this morning. A group of trainspotters and passengers nearby watched as he explained that he didn’t believe in snow. “Snow is an elaborate hoax created by Sir Topham Hatt to get us to wear Snowploughs.” He shouted as loud as he could to everyone waiting … Continue reading Thomas Convinced Snow is “An Elaborate Hoax” →

A recent study from Tidmouth University shows Millennials on the Island of Sodor don’t participate in the traditions of Thanksgiving. Traditional Thanksgiving present exchange around the Thanksgiving Tree “Why would I celebrate an American holiday?” Starbucks patron, Jessica, inquired. “We live on an island off the coast of Britain.” Clearly Millennials just don’t know enough … Continue reading Studies Show Sudrian Millennials Don’t Celebrate Thanksgiving →

The cover of the all new Thomas and Friends Lore Book For years, Thomas fans have been able to enjoy reading up on all the well thought out and interesting lore of The Railway Series in the two Railway Series Lore Books written by members of the Awdry family. However, fans have never gotten a … Continue reading New Lore Book Takes Us Deeper Into the Lives of Sudrians than Ever Before →

A Policeman has issued a request to Sir Topham Hatt and the Ffarquhar Quarry Manager suggesting they give Toby and Mavis different colors. Officer Brewster explained that their current liveries are distracting to his work. “I usually sit at this crossing near the quarry where I watch traffic, so I see Toby and Mavis all … Continue reading Policeman Suggests Toby and Mavis get Repainted →

A Tool used by capitalists to brainwash your kids There seems to be a stage in every toddler’s life where they become obsessed with vehicles. Recently, my three-year-old, Gungus, has entered this phase and just loves to play with his Choo Choo trains. There are two major players in the field of Train Kids shows; … Continue reading The Repressive, Authoritarian Soul of Chuggington →

Ben Shapiro is a political commentator who I could beat in a fight! Here are the top ten reasons why I could do this! 10. He's a little noodley kid!!! Ben Shapiro looks freaking weak, and even though he's older than me, I could probably beat him up. 9. I am thicker than him!!! Similar … Continue reading Top 10 Reasons I could Beat Ben Shapiro in a Fight →