EA Hires Sam Wilkinson, Sean O’Connor on the Spot

After being fired by Mattel for several breaches in contract including using company property for personal profit without consent, Sam Wilkinson and Sean O’Connor started the long and arduous job hunt. Luckily, their portfolio attracted the attention of gaming giant, Electronic Arts (EA).

“Sam and Sean didn’t seem to have any real qualifications at first,” explained EA executive, Benny Bencher, “but then we saw their experience with event planning and we knew they were a perfect fit for our company.”

Although they don’t have experience in the gaming industry, Wilkinson and O’Connors’ business experience blew away the EA board of hiring.

“These guys have some of the best ideas we’ve ever seen! Their event where they only showed the actual subject to people with VIP passes gave us a great idea.” Mr. Bencher explained. “In the next Madden game, we could make Touchdowns a DLC exclusive feature!”

Bencher listed several other ideas Sam and Sean either came up with or influenced in some way. These included: Crowdfunding Star Wars games that will never actually release, rounding up players emulating games so they can be lined up and shot, and vandalizing the source code of games so they can never be ported to newer generations of consoles.

“With Sam and Sean on our team,” Bencher finished, “we will usher in a new era of monetization!”