A recent study from Tidmouth University shows Millennials on the Island of Sodor don’t participate in the traditions of Thanksgiving.
“Why would I celebrate an American holiday?” Starbucks patron, Jessica, inquired. “We live on an island off the coast of Britain.”
Clearly Millennials just don’t know enough about their own history to care about significant traditions. Maybe if they listened in school instead of listening to Mumble (c)rap, they would be smarter.
“Thanksgiving Tree? Gift exchange? I’m not Even American and I know you’re an idiot.” Explained Michael Simpson, local hipster. “I don’t want to be in your stupid article. I’m not even a millennial; I’m Gen-Z.”
From what we can gather, Millennials are ruining everything, have bad manners, and have no respect for journalists. Perhaps we need to take away their phones to teach them a lesson.
Thomas News Network 