Joshua Matthews, a writer for the new Thomas and Friends reboot, suffered from a heart attack after a creepy image of the stop motion Thomas Show from the 60’s shocked him to his core. He is survived by his Wife, Jessica Nicole, his Wife’s boyfriend, Chadley Mannington, and his Wife’s son, Arlo.
“Those creepy pictures from the claymation Thomas the Train Show are enough to kill anyone in the office.” Said another Mattel employee. “We warn the staff to not research what made Thomas good in the first place because of how scary it used to be.”
Looking at the freaky trains with faces may seem innocent at first, but it isn’t. The creator of Thomas the Train was actually a Christian, so he was probably racist, homophobic, and facist.
“We all knew that some scary stuff happened in that 60’s version of Thomas, like when Gordon got sealed in a wall forever, but we never knew how scary it actually was.” Jessica Mellissa, Joshua’s superior, explained. “When we saw what Joshie had uncovered, many of us nearly suffered the same fate.”
The original version of Tommy the Choo Choo Train includes many horrific scenes, like the one where a train crashes. The creepy atmosphere is heightened by the disgusting models.
“What do you mean I’m being, ‘insulting to the people who worked on the show?’” Asked Jessica Mellissa. “I’m just saying everyone who worked on the old Thomas Show was an evil facist who wanted to scare children.”
Please don’t let Joshua die in vain. Please leave a comment below explaining to Mattel why they should obliterate Thomas off the face of the planet.
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